murielle

Breaking Things

7.

“Pick that up. Throw it over your shoulder. Your left shoulder. You must always do that if you spill salt. Always.”

And I always did. Even now, years since I last observed that superstition, when I spill salt I have an instant of panic. But I don’t do it.

6.

“Not that one, dear. This one.”

“Why?”

“That one is unlucky.”

“It is?”

“See how it’s turned, with the open ends of the horseshoe at the bottom and the closed end at the top? All the luck will run out. But this one has the open ends at the top and the closed end at the bottom so it will hold the luck inside for you.”

I cannot recall the last time I had anything with a horseshoe on it, right-side up or upside down. Sometimes change just happens.

5.

“Well, thank you very much, clumsy child. Now we’ll have bad luck for the next seven years.”

I was so careful with mirrors. Who wants bad luck, right? And for seven whole years. As a little girl seven years was almost my whole life, an eternity.

I’ve broken mirrors since and I do think about the bad luck, but seven years goes by so fast now what’s the difference? It’s not like my life has been full of good luck anyway.

4.

“Never hand someone a knife or scissors with the sharp ends pointing toward them. Turn them so they’re pointing at yourself.”

“Why?”

“It’s the polite thing to do, and the safe way to do it. There’s a deeper meaning too.”

“What’s that?”

“To point the business end of a knife is like pointing a sword at someone. A threat. And, if you ever give someone a knife, or something sharp, even a sewing needle, they must cross your palm with silver.”

“Really?”

“Yes. That way, they’re buying the sharp object and it’s a peaceful exchange.”

“Be careful when you’re handling knives.”

“Because you could cut yourself.”

“Yes! Clever girl. But also because if you drop it, it means a man will come to the door.”

“That’s bad?”

“Most of the time, yes. And if you give someone a purse or a wallet you must put a coin in it.”

“But purses aren’t sharp!”

“No, but by putting money in the gift you’re wishing they will always have money in their purse.”

Such a lot to take in, such a lot to let go of when it was time.

3.

“Now, there are certain things we never keep in our homes. Do you know why?”

“No.”

“They are bad luck for our family. Very bad. We don’t have photographs of them, or figurines of them. Bad, bad luck.”

“Which ones, Granny?”

“Roosters, peacocks, and Elephants. They are all bad, but the Elephants are the worst. They bring death.”

And they did according to our family lore.

First my grandfather was given a little ebony elephant and he died. Then I forgot all about the curse and gave my granny an onyx one and she died, and afterward our neighbor, Mother’s best friend, asked for the elephants as keepsakes and was given them and she died.

I believed.

Decades later I saw a dress on eBay I wanted. It was gorgeous, but I couldn’t bring myself to buy it because it had elephants on it. One night I opened up my cupboard and saw a little gray elephant sitting on one of the shelves. It was a pie funnel my mother gave me when I started baking steak pies. She had it for years, then I had for years. The dress was still on eBay and I bought it and I still wear it and love it.

2.

When pictures fell off the wall, or birds flew in the window, Mom and Granny would fret. Both were harbingers of death. It never made sense to me. Maybe a big lorry went by and made the pictures fall, and birds can’t help it if they fly into your house. They’re not that bright.

The world seemed full of bad omens.

“Step on a crack and break your mother’s back.”

Who came up with these things? Mind you, I tested that one. Wasn’t true. Trust me.

1.

“No matter what happens, no matter what is said or done, you never, ever, ever talk to anyone about what happens at home. Do you understand? Never. Ever.”

I’m still working on that one. After years, decades, of counseling there are some things I will never say, or write, or tell. Never. Ever. Ever.

(1^st Corinthians: 13:11

“When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”)